Mindfulness chapter 10
A human being is a part of the whole called by us the universe, a part limited in time
and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated
from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of
prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons
nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle
of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.
Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is
itself a part of the liberation, and a foundation for inner security.
I Want A Relationship, But Dating Feels Like A Waste Of My Time
I don't date. It's not that I don't want to date. It's just that I don't make time to date.
Like, when I'm scheduling my week out in my little planner, I only block out certain hours for things I really care about, like a hair appointment for my split ends and a grocery trip to buy my favorite overpriced chocolate. Y'know, the things I know hands-down will bring me happiness.
I also have a lot of hobbies. When I'm not at work writing about ... well ... dating, I'm jamming with my band or exercising in a group fitness class. And when I'm not doing either of those, I'm sleeping.
My time is too precious to be wasted on making definitive plans to see someone I don't yet know. How do people spend anywhere from one to three hours with a stranger, and then, if it doesn't go well, have enough motivation to do that whole thing all over again a few days later?
Meeting people you've never met before and judging them in terms of whether they'll fit into your life romantically is exhausting, time-consuming and a huge investment for something that more likely than not won't turn out to be anything huge at all. Dating is a big gamble with little pay-off.
Now, meeting someone organically while doing my own thing is a completely different story. One time, I met a guy on the corner of Broadway and 8th street in Manhattan who ended up being my boyfriend for three years. Another time, I met a guy at a bar I bartended at who ended up being my boyfriend for a year.
Both of these relationships happened unknowingly, accidentally, unexpectedly and without any effort on my part. I didn't have to give up something I love to do for something I'm not sure of. And I've been told the best loves happen without asking for your permission first.
So if love supposedly finds us when we aren't looking, then why does dating even exist? Why are we encouraged to proactively seek something that will come find us? Why do we invest so much of our time, energy and hope into Tinder and Bumble and set-ups from friends and blind dates as per our parents' suggestions?
Sure, dating isn't a complete waste of time. It can be enlightening. We learn about men. We learn about ourselves, too: what we're willing to put up with for the rest of our lives and what we're not. But trying to strike that balance between "doing us" and actively going on dates is entirely up to us -- and, to be honest, seems impossible. The freedom to plan is paralyzing.
I wrote a piece once about how I will absolutely never, ever give up my gym time for a man I don't know. I'd think twice about giving up a good sweat sesh for a guy I care deeply about, but getting to that level is the tough part. Weeding out all the terrible guys to find the one who's actually worth stealing me away from my precious exercise time is harrowing. Thinking about getting there makes my brain spin and my heart hurt.
Am I asking for too much? Is my unwillingness to run, eyes closed, arms wide open, toward a random dude without knowing the outcome just a sign that I'm too consumed with my own desires and needs to entertain someone else's? My mom does say that I'm single because I'm selfish. Is it true?
In my eyes, my schedule, as is, is practical. Therapeutic. Ambitious. But in the eyes of someone who wants to take me out on a date, that same schedule is impractical. Counterproductive. Egotistical.
I don't know. Am I too jaded, or am I just too lazy? I'm not sure if I'm spending my time as well as I could be. Or should be.
All I know is for right now, I'm banking on the poetically wild notion that I'll run into the love of my life at that shady deli on the corner of Bumblef*ck Street and Invisible Avenue. I'm banking on not having to try that hard, and hoping to come out with a huge reward.
You Share Everything With Your Bestie. Even Brain Waves.
New York Times
New research suggests the roots of friendship extend even deeper than previously suspected. Scientists have found that the brains of close friends respond in remarkably similar ways as they view a series of short videos: the same ebbs and swells of attention and distraction, the same peaking of reward processing here, boredom alerts there.
“Our results suggest that friends might be similar in how they pay attention to and process the world around them,” Dr. Parkinson said. “That shared processing could make people click more easily and have the sort of seamless social interaction that can feel so rewarding.”
cientists want to know what, exactly, makes friendship so healthy and social isolation so harmful, and they’re gathering provocative, if not yet definitive, clues.
Dr. Christakis and his co-workers recently demonstrated that people with strong social ties had comparatively low concentrations of fibrinogen, a protein associated with the kind of chronic inflammation thought to be the source of many diseases. Why sociability might help block inflammation remains unclear.
“The aesthetic choices we make, the things we like, the taste we have in art, plays, TV, furniture — when you put them together they are absolutely essential components of our character, an indication of who we are,” he said. We live “immersed in art.”
Not high art, not a night-at-the-opera art, but everyday art — buildings, billboards, clothing, the dishes at a restaurant, the percussive rhythms of subways on train tracks.
“Watching TV clips is much more accurate to our everyday life than the times we go to a museum,” he said, and therefore potentially more revealing of who we are and what we hope to find in a friend.
Compare company incorporation jurisdictions
Ease of business setup & other advantages in Delaware, Cayman Islands, British Virgin Islands, Singapore, Hong Kong etc.
This Comparison Chart is intended to provide an overview of key corporate features of the
various jurisdictions. The content is general in scope and should not be relied upon as advice.
Today, I learned that the DiRT series of video games originally started out is Collin McRae Rally.
If you blow air from you mouth on your hand with a "fuuuu" sound (lips pursed) , the air is cold, but if you do that with a wide open mouth with a "haaa" sound, it's warm.
Amazon/Berkshire/JP Morgan Healthcare Company
I learned that Todd Combs, 47, a former hedge fund manager who has no experience in the health-care industry, has been instrumental in facilitating the 3-way partnership to build a disruptive healthcare company.
CBS used to add bird songs to their golf broadcasts to get rid of awkward silences until they got caught by someone watching at home who knew the bird songs belonged to birds that didn’t live in the region in which the golf tournament was being played.
Comparison with AWS Kinesis